Middle Child Syndrome is apparently something that exists for some people. We have a middle child, but he does not fall into this category at all. He was a preemie, and has been quite the character since the day he was born. He is never content to do is own thing, or be independent in anyway. To say he is a momma’s boy is an understatement! He is a busy guy, full of wonder, and full of “what if’s”. We very frequently cannot take our eyes off him, because when we do we can often be heard shouting something at him. Here are a few of my favorite things we shout at him, and we thank God no one has called the cops on us for.
“Get off your brother.”
Little brother is not a pony. You are fifty pounds of naughty, and your brother is only thirty-six pounds of naughty. You are literally crushing him right now.
This warning will be uttered softly two times before I scream it at you. You will cry. I will feel awful. We will repeat this a million times a day until you grow up and learn to be careful.
“No. Just No.”
I hear your daddy saying this frequently. It’s kind of his exasperated way of being all done with whatever you are doing. He probably tried to explain to you WHY you should not be doing the thing you are doing, but you did not listen. Now daddy is broken, and he just wants you to NO.
Because, seriously, you are loud. Where is your inside voice? Do you have an inside voice? Also, I am pretty sure you are this loud because of me. Me “ssssshhhh”ing you is loud. Sorry we are so loud pal. But, seriously. Be quiet
“Dude! Sit. Down.”
You have literally fallen over just standing up. Your balance is not great. You are as graceful as I am, which is basically a curse. You cannot stand up in your chair. Or on top of the table. You have to sit down before you bust your booty.
“Swallow your spit.”
This is a weird one, I know it is. He was always such a drooly baby.. Then a drooly toddler. And he is FIVE and he still is spitting and drooling. The doctors and dentists have all claimed he is fine. So this is a never ending refrain in our house. Just swallow your spit, man. You are grossing everyone out right now.
“Please. I do not want to go to the ER. Again.”
You know that huge rock you love in the backyard? The one that you threw into the air, then it fell on your head, and we had to go to the ER because you were bleeding all over? Can we not do that again? Just leave the rocks on the ground… they are rocks for crying out loud. I just want to go pee in peace, and I need you to chill. Also, do not walk into the walls, the corner of the counters, or the banister again. I cannot even with another concussion.
We thought the middle child was supposed to be easy?
We are waiting on the easy.